Title: Close Encounters of the Insulting Kind
Author: White Star 2 (hila-p@barak-online.net)
Rating: G
Classification: CH
Distribution: Distribute away, good Philes. And I'd 
appreciate it if you let me know where it goes. (Yes, you're 
on to me, I just want the emails.)
Spoilers: None
Keywords:
Summary: And it started out as just a routine 
investigation...

Disclaimer: Mulder and Scully ain't mine. They're 1013's. 
The rest belongs to Douglas Adams. I only take credit for 
putting them together. Hey, it's something...

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Close Encounters of the Insulting Kind
 by White Star 2

Mulder bent down to examine the dirt in the clearing. He 
filled his hand with fresh, damp earth. Shining his 
flashlight on it revieled nothing special. Scully had 
wandered off into the woods. She was probably looking for 
nothing more than getting away from more of his theories for 
a short while.

He sighed and resumed his search.

Then there was a light.

At first it was just a moving light in the sky. Then it got 
bigger and brighter until the whole forest was flooded with 
light. Something long and metallic started descending.

Mulder watched openmouthed as the silver spaceship landed 
silently and gracefully in the small clearing. He shaded his 
eyes with his hand until the light was turned off. Legs 
detached from the body of the ship and its descent 
completed.

A ramp extended out from the side of the strange craft, and 
a door opened. A figure stepped out, clad in draped golden 
robes. It was taller than any of the aliens Mulder had ever 
seen. Its head was flat, and its eyes were small and slitty. 
It held up something that looked remarkably like a 
clipboard.

"Fox Mulder?"

Mulder's paranoia kicked in. Something about the whole 
situation smelled funny. More precisely, it smelled like a 
rat. One smoking a Morley's. "...Yes."

"Fox *William* Mulder?"

Mulder hesitated. "Yes."

"You're a jerk." 

Mulder blinked. "What?!"

"You're a jerk. And a total wierdo. You're just plain 
spooky!" He made a mark on his clipboard and smiled smugly.

Mulder blinked again.

"Spooky... good one," the alien muttered, nodding its flat 
head with slitty eyes as it walked up the ramp.

Mulder opened and closed his mouth a few times as the craft 
took off. No sound came out.

"Mulder," Scully said, out of breath, when she finally 
reached the clearing. "Are you okay? What was that?"

His mouth opened and closed a few more times until he 
finally uttered, "I'm not sure."

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